I'm going to miss my womb-mate

About 24 hours from now and we'll get to meet our baby! After all this time of guessing what she looks like, who's features she'll have, how big she'll be, what her personality will be like, etc. and so forth--it now just seems completely surreal that I have a baby inside me and she is coming out tomorrow. Craziness.
My womb-mate was just served her 24 hour eviction notice. I told her to start packing up over breakfast of Eggo waffles and syrup, which I know she loves because it really gets her motor running in the morning.
I'm really going to miss the close quarters we've shared for the last 9+ months. It's been, to put it in a really sappy way, magical. So here's my top 3 list of what I'll miss most about my little incubated tenant:

1. Daily pep talks on growing and thriving, which she apparently took quite literally since she's measuring so large.
2. Feeling all her movements and hiccups and trying to guess what part of her body is moving, especially waking up and feeling her wake up too, slowly tickling and then stretching and then the full blown rolling and kicking.
3. Knowing I have her with me 24/7 safe and sound and snuggly, not worrying too much about if I'm doing the right thing and if I'm a good mommy. She's pretty easy to take care of right now.

Pre-labor

I've been having quite a few Braxton Hicks contractions in the last few days. Last night was a record for me, and although it's not the real deal, it's been nice to get an idea of what labor might be like. Yeah, call me nuts but I really want to experience labor, and if I have to have the c-section then this will have to somewhat satisfy my curiosity. I have my weekly Dr. appointment with the on-call Dr. tomorrow because my Dr. doesn't get back from vacation until Mon. I'm interested to see of there's been any changes, and still holding out his baby may decide to turn around. Whatever happens, I'm getting really excited to finally meet this baby!

Changing direction a little bit, I want to share some things that I never realized I'd appreciate until poof--gone. Of course, there are probably tons of things through life that are deeper and more meaningful than this following list. Even in a few months I'm sure I'll forget these were important to me at this time. However, the last nine months have produced a lot of change with my body and I hope to get back the old me eventually.

If I get my body back close to where it once was...

• I will never call myself fat again. I can't believe I was so skinny, actually.
• I will never brag that I can bend over and flatten my hands to the ground, beyond touching my toes. Right now I'm lucky to bend over to the point my hands extend the reach of my knees.
• I will be thankful to change positions in bed, blissfully asleep and unaware my body can move with such ease.
• I will fully appreciate my bladder and it's capacity to store more than an ounce of fluid.
• I will run a little bit harder and jump a little bit higher.

38 weeks

Change of plans

I'm not one for surprises, of any kind. I was prepared for most of the labor and delivery surprises that I've read about and felt pretty confident that I'd let this baby decide how that was going to go. Now that's a lot for me, because I can be a little bit of a control freak. However, it was not in my plans for this baby to "have my poor sense of direction" as Rick says. So the baby is breech, butt down and head up. Wrong direction for a normal delivery to take place. And due to her enormous size, apparently the chances of her turning on her own are slim. I am still holding out that she turns because Rick and I are typically on the lower odds scale of life. Nothing ever comes easy for us, why should this be any different, right?

Back to her weight, I measured 5 weeks ahead of a normal size baby. The Dr. could be up to a pound off, but it's looking like she's exceeding the 9 lb estimate. So even if she does decide to flip around and head in the right direction, I might still be faced with the fact that this baby just won't fit out of the birth canal.

We have a c-section scheduled for next week, so if things continue the way they are, we'll get to see this baby sooner than expected! Although I am not happy about the change of plans regarding a c-section, I am very happy to start our family and hold this little stubborn miracle growing inside me, waiting to come out. But maybe she could be less dramatic on her exit, and do her parents a favor and just head in the right direction??

Wrapping things up

Although not officially 100% complete on all the baby preparedness, I have to say I'm 99.99% there. My checklist has a few lingering items, but nothing major. Whew! The past two nights I have been half sleeping, going through all my lists in my head to make sure I got everything I need, or reminding myself to write down things I still need to get. It's exhausting!

I start to see my Dr. every week now, to see how things are progressing. I feel a little bit like a watched pot, not quit ready to boil.

36 weeks

Rockin' 'n rollin'

Not sure if the baby is getting restless or bored in there, but she sure has been moving around a lot. Maybe she's put on more weight and the movements are that much more definable. A few times I swear she's found my bladder and decided to press on it as hard as her little arms can muster. Other times, I think she's trying to see how far she can stick her butt out and stretch her living quarters. And she likes to tickle me too. I've never been ticklish, but somehow she can get her toes into the inside of my rib cage and just so very gently poke repeatedly. I have to say this is one of the coolest stages of movement since when I first felt the baby move. Especially when she really gets going and my belly shakes so much it moves the chair.

34 weeks

The importance of comfort

I have set off in a quest for comfort. Never in my life have I just wanted to be comfortable as much as now. It's a slippery slope. The first indication came while shopping for practical shoes. I was looking for flat shoes because after cooking all day in little heels on Christmas, I realized I would have to say goodbye to any type of shoe that had a raised heel.

Next was the underwear. My cute lacy numbers began to be replaced at first with some cute lacy maternity thongs from Old Navy, and has since been supplemented with full coverage "granny panties," which I'm told will be necessary for after delivery. If you know me well, you would understand how heartbreaking it is to succumb to this purchase.

Which leads me to the next heartbreaking purchase of a nursing bra. Let's face it, it's a hassle to shop for cute bras at my size anyway. Well my size is no longer my size and with whatever ounce of pride I do have left, I refuse to buy some long term solution here. So the practical solution is to graduate to a nursing bra right now, hoping my girls will decide to go back to their original size within the next year or so. I know, how very optimistic of me. If you've ever seen a nursing bra, you know that this contraption is purely for practical intentions. There is nothing cute about it. Period.

(I'm sure I've lost most of my reading audience, if not just my grandpa here.)

Moving on to the outerwear... I finally resigned to getting new (roomier) maternity pants, which I might just wear every single day until this baby comes. These pants ROCK and I highly recommend them to anyone who is addicted to the BellaBand as I am.

And last, but the most important part of my comfort has been sleep. I have yet to find a solution to this. I have found that the only comfortable place to sit is in the new recliner we got a few weeks ago. I have a better understanding of why my father (may he rest in peace) loved his recliner so much that he had resorted to duct taping the arm rest and various other places of the frayed fabric, instead of just going out and getting a new one, much to my mom's and my embarrassment. I might just have to start sleeping on the recliner, because even with a CalKing bed, I've managed to build a trench around myself with pillows to support my back, my hips, my belly and my head. I'm running out of room, and Rick has donated all but one of his pillows to my cause.

As I sit here in my ugly intimates and stretchy, comfy jeans, on my recliner, I can tell you that my priorities have shifted big time in the comfort department. Someone will have to remind me--postpartum--that this will need to be nipped into the bud at some point. One day I will want to revert back to lacy bras and thongs, clothing that requires a constant abdominal workout by sucking it in all the time, and cute heels that leave blisters after five minutes of wear but look damn good with that outfit. Right?

Exhaustion

I have been so tired the last few days. I feel like I've been hit by a bus, and the part of my brain that controls large and fine motor skills has been damaged, along with balance and the ability to walk like a normal person and not a penguin or duck.

I guess this mental part is what they call pregnancy brain; something I refused to believe would ever happen to me. I have successfully screwed up dinner 3 times in the last week, something I think that Rick has even noticed and is now asking me if I need help making dinner. I used to think I could make dinner with a blindfold and one hand tied behind my back. Now I'm lucky if I come home from the grocery store with anything I had written on the list. Eating has taken on a new form of entertainment too. Let's see how many items end up on the front of Cara's top, or down her shirt. And believe me, it’s not that fun fishing things out of the top if they've dropped down there. That is, when it's even noticed. I actually had crumbs stuck between my bra and belly at my last Dr. appointment. To my horror, the crumbs were discovered when I lifted my top to be measured. Not easy to justify weight gain when there is plain as day evidence of cookie crumbs for your Dr. to see.

As for the walking, er, waddling...another thing I thought could never happen. Believe me, I try so hard not to waddle. It's embarrassing! But somehow during this alien transition, my lower half decided to take on a whole new persona and I guess I'm just stuck with it. These are all mere observations, mind you. It may sound like complaints but I really wouldn't trade these temporary (oh please god, let them be temporary) conditions for anything in the world, because it all just means I'm getting closer to having this baby. I really hope to look back on all this and laugh, but right now it just takes too much energy (yawn).

32 weeks