Double trouble, literally

Twins. Yeah, crazy. Clearly I wasn't prepared to go into my ultrasound and get this news. We only saw one baby 2 weeks ago, so I was completely, utterly, and absolutely shocked. I can't even stutter out the word c-cc-ca-cautiously optimistic, but apparently I can write it out. So that's where I am. So I'll start from the beginning of this appointment--actually I'll go back to the last ultrasound a bit.

At the last ultrasound, we identified the baby and saw a great heartbeat. So really, that was all we were hoping for. That's all the Dr. was hoping for, and we had high fives all around and then moved on. So this appointment, again saw the one baby with a strong heartbeat which measured at 8 weeks. So I asked the Dr. while she was there to see if there was anything visible in the ultrasound that could rule out a subchronc hematoma (bleeding in the uterus), because I have had some brown spotting recently that causes me some concern. So she started looking around. And then she flashed on something and said, "Oh my God!" Now I'm thinking tumor, mass, hole, I don't know but anything terrible that could mean the demise of my beautiful beating heart bean growing in there. So she frantically moves the ultrasound back and forth. And I try to calmly say, "WHAT THE HELL?" So she says, "I think I see another baby." She adjusts the machine and voila, there's this other beautiful beating heart bean playing hide and seek.

So yes, I'm excited. If you peel away the first layer of terror. Terror for what I know can happen, what I don't know that can happen. And then peel away that layer of armor that contains all my emotions. Hiding behind all of that is a glimmer of hope and excitement.

There is so much that can go wrong, that I think there might be some hope. I'm always the fluke. Well, this might be a fluke in the right direction for me. It would be a fluke if these babies made it to full term. It's highly risky and I'm already a high risk.

So again I wait another 2 weeks to get another ultrasound to see if these babies continue to grow, and if they have all the supplies they need. I've been requested by my Dr. to take it day by day and not to get my hopes up too high, but that if all goes well past the 10 week mark, these babies just might be around for the long ride.