If only I had a way to transcript my middle of the night thoughts from my brain to here, I would have a million updates. But that's not here nor there. We are adjusting quite well with Ava being home. It's slightly more hectic than what was my usual day to day, and a whole lot more hectic than what was my usual night before Ava. Ask me how I am in another week, because today is the last day for the nanny I had coming 3 days a week in the mornings to help entertain Sophia. While I used that time to to go visit Ava in the NICU, I now currently hole up in my bedroom cuddling with Ava to give both of us some quality time together (i.e., I try to cram in a night's worth of sleep because Ava usually sleeps the best from 6am-9am). On those days that I haven't had help, Rick has been incredibly helpful with Sophia and her routine. This has been probably the only benefit of having a winter baby. With the exceptionally wet and cold Winter, he hasn't had a whole lot to do with work. When Sophia was born in the Spring, the busiest time for Rick's job, that was a whole other story. So while I love my husband dearly, I love him a little bit more for all the help he's been. Don't worry, he's being rewarded for his good deeds--you know, by my, eh hum, ability to make him steak dinners. Ha. Anyway...
We've been to the pediatrician a few times already, mainly for weight checks. After it was determined that Ava is doing well in the gaining weight department, we are now following a normal well baby schedule. I've decided to space out her vaccines so that adds a few extra trips to the doctors. I spaced out Sophia's vaccines, and with Ava being so much younger and smaller, I have a hard time that she will get the same amount of dosage and not at the corrected age but at her birth date age. This scares me. I don't know why, but autism is at the back of my mind along with other scary thoughts of side effects. I am all for vaccines, and I understand that Ava is even more at a risk due to her low immune system, but that's just the mom in me to worry. And because she is a preemie, she is scheduled to receive additional vaccines to protect her.
There are so many differences with a preemie. Some I don't know if they are "preemie" things or "individuality" things. Ava makes so many noises. She clears her throat for what seems like hours on end. She snores, LOUDLY. She grunts constantly. She whistles through her nose. She is most often having gas pains or reflux. While I have no doubt she's breathing when she's sleeping due to all the noise, it's hard to get any sleep when she is actually sleeping. I had a phone call from someone in a program that Ava will be in for preemies. The woman scheduled an appointment for Ava's due date, which is next week. During the conversation I mentioned some things Ava does and was reassured that it was all normal preemie behavior. I told her that the only time Ava seems to have a quiet sleep is when she's sleeping on me or Rick. At this she said that it was a dangerous thing for Ava because they don't want Ava to be in such a deep sleep. Another preemie thing. However, I was also told that preemies require a lot more holding and cuddling. Which she gets. As I type this, I am wearing her in my new favorite baby carrier.
In addition to her qualifying for the preemie program, she'll be evaluated at the hospital starting at 6 months adjusted age (she'll be 9 months at that time). They will follow her development until she's 3 years old. The theory is early intervention. It's really hard for me not to look for early signs myself. I just have to hope Ava will come out of this all just fine.
Next week is her eye exam. We went 2 weeks ago and her eyes are still on their way to be fully mature. I'm hoping this is the last visit and we can put that part behind us. It's difficult to get motivated and out the door for a 7:30 am appointment. It's even more difficult to watch her get her eyes dilated every 2 weeks, and then to be told they aren't quite there yet.
Another difficult thing for us has been nursing. I had high hopes that she would switch from the bottle to the breast, but who am I kidding? When we came home, we were sent with a 20 calorie formula to fortify the breast milk. This helps gain weight and adds some extra vitamins. I also supplement the breast milk with iron and a multi-vitamin. So really, nursing would have had to be a supplement. Well, besides the bottle being easier for her to take and less work, all the additives to the milk changes the flavor. Because she's not nursing, I'm exclusively pumping out the milk. My milk supply is showing the sings that my body isn't happy with this situation, so I've had to supplement my fresh milk with the frozen stockpile in order to keep up with Ava's demands. As much as it saddens me that she won't nurse, I'm not going to beat myself up about it or frustrate myself any more. It looks like sooner than later I'll be supplementing my milk with formula until I dry out completely. I do fear the wrath of the lactation consultant when she calls to check in on our progress, but so be it.
So that's the current happenings in Ava's world. If you've managed to stay awake through this update, kudos to you!
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