Papa

My father in-law passed away after an insanely long struggle with Alzheimer's. I contribute his longevity to the sheer willpower of my mother in-law. She made sure he was up in the morning, showered, shaved, and dressed for the day. She had him up and walking during the day, outside for fresh air, and came up with creative ways to keep his mind working. She had friends over, held communion every week at the house, and made sure we celebrated every birthday and holiday as normal as possible. I think she is truly a Saint.

I never really knew my father in-law. Oh, I shared moments of his clarity, but most of the time it was a polite smile, a pat on the shoulder, a brief hug. Here is what I do know about him:

- His love ran so deep with my mother in-law that when all memories failed him, he could still call her name and look for her when she left the room.

- His eyes lit up when he saw Sophia, and eventually Ava. He loved babies, and there is something telling about that core trait. He would call Sophia "Sweetheart" when he saw her. Last night at dinner, Rick told Sophia he was going to bring some food over for Noni. Sophia said, "And for Papa." It felt like this was as good a time as any to let her know that Papa was no longer with us. She said, "Papa called me Sweetheart."

- He was strong and stoic. I saw it in his eyes and felt it is his grip, I also saw when he didn't want to do something and it was like moving a mountain.

- He left a big impression on everyone that knew him. It is a testament to his kind character that people approach Rick any time we are around those he knew, to tell Rick a story about his father. It happened often, and I know it means a lot to Rick.

- I see so much of my husband's characteristics as a reflection of his father's influence on him, and for that I am grateful.