Viability

Technically 24 weeks gestational age is considered viability, but I didn't have an appointment last week so I saved the title for this week. I think with this new milestone, there comes a lot of anxious feelings. As I discussed in a previous post, we all agreed not to deliver until after 28 weeks, no matter what happens with baby B's situation, but knowing that these babies could potentially survive outside the womb makes that decision so much more weighted. Up to this point there's nothing that could have been done to keep the babies alive outside the womb, so knowing that there can be something done if I had to deliver--albeit extreme measures and less than stellar odds--it's still like that carrot all of a sudden appeared and it's dangling in front of my face. My Dr. said it's like playing with fire and now it's grown into an inferno. He also mentioned something about jumping out of a burning building from the 64th floor and now I'm at the 16th floor...but I sort of zoned out from playing "who can come up with the cutest analogy" and started to think of all the more pressing questions I had. So anyway, starting from the beginning...

I had an ultrasound today and baby B still has a strong heartbeat at 170. It's a little on the high side but still within normal range. I could relax a little bit more after knowing that. The fluid is still growing with baby B, which is a little disappointing but not unexpected. I try to suppress that thought that maybe this week will be the week that she shows improvement in her cystic hygroma and hydrops, but it creeps in and of course it stings a little that she's not "getting better" even though she's not getting worse. But as a mother, who wouldn't have that hope still? Baby B is measuring at a whopping 8 pounds, completely off the charts for a 25 weeker. It explains why I am so uncomfortable. This is the size of a 40 weeker ready for delivery, not to mention I have another 1 pound 3 oz baby A trying to fight for some space. I decided she has the right to kick all she wants, little baby A...she's trying to defend what little space she has. Baby A is still doing great. Apparently the tight quarters aren't impacting her growth or development. It's kind of funny to see them both just so squished in there, even though technically they have plenty of room with the amniotic fluid.

As I had suspected, my perinatologist that I see most often but hadn't seen the last few visits, had kind of sort of handed me off to his associate perinatologist. No one had confirmed this, but I had an idea that he might do this once I became "maintenance" and less interesting. Although today he popped in and confirmed my suspicion with a "I'm back and taking charge" when he entered the room. I asked him why I became interesting again, sarcastically of course. As snarky as he is and as negative as he can be, I like the guy. I really do. He is no nonsense, he doesn't sugarcoat, and it's kind of fun to test his ego by proving each appointment that this baby B is exceeding his expectations. But also, I do agree with his thought process and I feel that we are on the same page, even though my glass is half full and his is half empty. So he told me he doesn't think the steroid shot would be helpful until at least 28 weeks. I agree. He doesn't feel like I should be shipped off to Stanford to have the babies, for way more complicated reasons that I won't go into. I also agree with him there. He said the neonatologist meeting was premature. Ditto.

Bottom line is this: baby B is adding a lot of stress on my body. It would be a miracle if my body can get these girls to 32 weeks, but that's the goal. I am currently the size of what a quadruplet pregnancy would be at this point and sometimes the body decides it can't stretch that fast and furious anymore. We aren't there yet, but there's another growth spurt that typically happens around 28 weeks, so we'll see how my body handles that. We're still discussing my going into the hospital at 29 weeks (I bargained an extra week out because that happens to be Halloween and if I have to be in a wheelchair to take Sophia trick-or-treating, then so be it).

I have an echo scheduled for this friday, and from here on out until delivery or hospital stay, I have weekly ultrasounds scheduled to monitor things.