There is no easy answer

I find myself struggling to answer the normal questions when out and about. We've been cooped up most of the winter but those few times that I get out to run a few errands with the girls, I inevitably get those "new baby" questions. I remember when Sophia was a little baby and how eager I was to talk about her age, her disposition, etc. to any curious stranger. With Ava, I just don't have a canned response figured out yet. "How old is your baby?" turns into this whole mental deliberation before I respond. I'll say she's 5 months but then I'll say she was born 3 months early so she should really be 2 months. I usually get a blank stare and then an "oh" but sometimes I get people that know someone that had a preemie or had a preemie and they understand why I answered the way I did. I just don't know why I can't say, "she's 5 months" and then if they decide to comment how small she is (I don't know, is she small for 5 months?) or how underdeveloped she seems then maybe I can elaborate? I find it's mostly a defense thing for me. As much as it shouldn't bother me what strangers think, it really does bother me. And honestly, unless you have a 5 month old baby or grandchild or you are a pediatrician or you are just really knowledgeable about baby stages, would you really stop and look at a baby and question the answer? I mean, aren't they just making small talk anyway? But maybe that one stranger does fit into the knowledgeable category and walks away thinking there's something wrong with Ava. It's almost like I'm doing a disservice to Ava by not giving the longer answer. I know, I should get over it. A woman at the park told me her friend had a 28 week preemie and that now 2 years of age, the kid seems caught up and you can't tell the difference. 1.5 years seems a long way to go for me to be puzzling about what should be an easy answer. I'm also at a loss when talking about Ava's delivery. Because as we all know, it wasn't just Ava that was born that day. But it's all so very uncomfortable to go there even with my family or best friends. So I again feel like I'm doing a disservice to Julia by saying, "well when Ava was born..." but to replace that with "well when the girls were born..." is too heavy on my heart and I just feel like it's too much to place on anyone I'm having that conversation with. The real problem here is that I'm battling with my personality. I'm an open book. I usually give way too much information. But in this case, any kind of answer other than an expected one opens the door to more conversation or maybe suggests that I need to talk about it. And I'm not looking to start a conversation about it really, I'm just trying to be fair to my girls and to myself when I answer a direct question. It all kind of seems silly now that I'm writing out my thoughts. But I feel they are valid thoughts, and I can't imagine I'm alone in thinking them.