Julia Bea

I had wanted to save her name until birth, but Julia Bea had other plans. Baby B, who we named Julia Bea, passed away sometime between last night and this morning.
Julia means "one who is youthful and daughter of the sky" and Bea was my grandma's first name (short for Beatrice) which means "blessed or one that blesses others." And she will always be our baby "B." I've been hopeful that she would survive this ordeal and continue to beat the odds, but it's time to accept that the miracle we wished for is not going to happen. I guess as much as I tried to prepare for her loss, having the finality of it be pronounced is just impossible to grasp. I've been through my share of loss and I know it will take time. For now I'm just going to try to stay strong for her sister, and try to postpone the mourning as much as I can until we can get through this pregnancy.