Expressiveness

Sophia told me I'm her best friend. Which was really sweet and special and filled my heart with love and mush. Until about 5 minutes later, Sophia saw an ant roaming across the floor and she exclaimed "Ahhh there's my best friend!" and proceeded to let the ant crawl all over her. So I guess it's all relative. She's highly expressive with her feelings these days. Rick will leave the room and she'll throw herself onto the ground and cry, "Where did daddy go?! I miss him soooo much." She'll see a toy that maybe she hasn't seen in a few days and say, "This is my favorite toy; it's my best toy ever." And then a few moments later the toy is thrown to the side. Just like me, her best friend for the fleeting moment. And then off she goes...

About making dinners

Yes, I'm cooking dinners. Most every night, in fact. I've decided that I need to be a little bit smarter in my strategy with 2 kids in tow. Well, one in tow...one in whatever area I try to have her entertain herself. Currently it's the jungle mat activity thing. Anyway, dinner. Besides limiting my trips to the grocery store, I'm also trying to do some carry over cooking. Basically make or buy one thing to incorporate into 2 meals that week. I'm horrible with leftovers. I don't eat them. Thankfully Rick loves leftovers. But even with his love of them, I still feel like there is a lot of waste. So here was my strategy last week:
I made the 13 bean soup the other night. You know, the one in the bag with the recipe on the back. I followed the recipe and we had that as a side dish with crock pot pork roast one night (I'll have to try to figure out how I made the gravy for this and post the recipe, it turned out really good). Then the next night I added ground beef and some taco seasoning to the bean soup, which had taken on a refried bean consistency. I served this over white rice to turn it into a Mexican dish of sorts. The next night I used the gravy from the pork roast to serve over pasta. Looking back, I should have shredded the remainder pork roast and turned that into pulled pork sandwiches, but instead I just stored it for regular sandwiches during the week.
Rick brought home a head of cabbage and tons of cauliflower leftover from a dinner he put on with his cooking crew for a charity dinner. With the cabbage, I made cole slaw as a side to the pork roast and beans, and then braised the rest another night with corned beef. Cole slaw makes for a great addition to kaiser rolls and corned beef sandwiches, with dijon. I roasted the cauliflower one night with olive oil and garlic as a side dish with the pasta and gravy, and made the rest into a gratin last night with some roasted chicken.
So I'm trying to be creative with the leftovers, save some money and cut down on time spent at the grocery store and in the kitchen. I was really happy with last week's meal plan. If only I can continue to figure out how to do this on a consistent basis.
On a sort of related topic, my Aunt Lynette gave us some Napa Style Truffle Salt for Christmas (in addition to some other wonderful salts and rubs from Napa Style that I haven't opened yet, and which I'm ashamed that I still haven't properly thanked her for) and can I tell you that I am addicted to this stuff. If you like truffles (of the mushroom variety) you will not be able to get enough of this stuff. I've added it to mushroom risotto, the cauliflower gratin, chicken, seasoned rubs, etc. It's a must have pantry item for sure.

Family

Tonight Sophia joined me on the chair while I was holding Ava, kissed Ava on the forehead and said, "Mommy, I love my family."

Solid gold diamond encrusted million dollar baby

Miss Manners would cringe at this post. I'm probably being incredibly tacky by writing about the hospital bills, but the final statement just came in and it's jaw-dropping crazy. We have insurance, so I don't anticipate we'll be paying much of the final bill once it's processed through insurance, but it's worthy of a post. Two months stay in the NICU was one million dollars and some change. [Insert health care debate here] Don't get me started on how much the people who actually did the work with Ava probably get out of all that money. I was told by Ava's Neonalotolgist that her husband is a Periodontist, works 3 days a week and still makes more than the doctor. I imagine the nurses and staff make a fraction of that. Ava didn't have any invasive procedures. She didn't need much else than oxygen and caffeine, TPN for nutrients, and monitoring for all the other preemie stuff. She had a few head ultrasounds, echo of her heart, and eye exams. She stayed one month less than her due date. I can't imagine the bills if things would have been different. I can't imagine the bills of those babies that stay in the NICU for months on end.

We continue to get statements from the hospital that our insurance is still pending. [Insert private medical insurance vs. social health care debate here] I've been battling with insurance over reimbursement of the breast pump for the last 2 months. I send them the paperwork, they come back with some line item needing more explanation. I stay on hold for an hour, only to get the run around from someone about needing more information. I am grateful to have insurance, but infuriated by the process and games they play in order to get out of reimbursing what is owed. I can't imagine the process for evaluating a NICU stay. I still haven't received the statement for my own c-section and hospital stay, but I'm pretty sure it'll be anticlimactic after getting Ava's bill. I just can't wrap my mind around that much money.

You've come a long way, baby

Ava's due date was yesterday. She's now considered full term. When people ask how old she is, I can no longer say "she really shouldn't be born yet." Today she is 1 day adjusted. Happy due date, Ava!

Then...
12 weeks, 4 days early, 1 day old, 2 pounds 11 ounces


Now...
12 weeks and 3 days old, 1 day adjusted, 9 pounds

First outing with my girls

You'd think I'd have remembered my camera. Oh well. A nice little break in this cold weather had me itching to get my cabin fevered butt outside and into the fresh air. Ava behaved nicely in her carrier and Sophia had the patience of, well, not her normal 2 in a half year old self (which is a very good thing). We enjoyed the park and a nice walk. Sophia went down for a nap without fuss. Ava had an extended sleep in her car seat. I was able to make myself a sandwich, sit down and eat the whole thing without interruption. Ahhh, could this be the beginning of getting back to routine?

Appointments, check-ins and evaluations, oh my

If only I had a way to transcript my middle of the night thoughts from my brain to here, I would have a million updates. But that's not here nor there. We are adjusting quite well with Ava being home. It's slightly more hectic than what was my usual day to day, and a whole lot more hectic than what was my usual night before Ava. Ask me how I am in another week, because today is the last day for the nanny I had coming 3 days a week in the mornings to help entertain Sophia. While I used that time to to go visit Ava in the NICU, I now currently hole up in my bedroom cuddling with Ava to give both of us some quality time together (i.e., I try to cram in a night's worth of sleep because Ava usually sleeps the best from 6am-9am). On those days that I haven't had help, Rick has been incredibly helpful with Sophia and her routine. This has been probably the only benefit of having a winter baby. With the exceptionally wet and cold Winter, he hasn't had a whole lot to do with work. When Sophia was born in the Spring, the busiest time for Rick's job, that was a whole other story. So while I love my husband dearly, I love him a little bit more for all the help he's been. Don't worry, he's being rewarded for his good deeds--you know, by my, eh hum, ability to make him steak dinners. Ha. Anyway...

We've been to the pediatrician a few times already, mainly for weight checks. After it was determined that Ava is doing well in the gaining weight department, we are now following a normal well baby schedule. I've decided to space out her vaccines so that adds a few extra trips to the doctors. I spaced out Sophia's vaccines, and with Ava being so much younger and smaller, I have a hard time that she will get the same amount of dosage and not at the corrected age but at her birth date age. This scares me. I don't know why, but autism is at the back of my mind along with other scary thoughts of side effects. I am all for vaccines, and I understand that Ava is even more at a risk due to her low immune system, but that's just the mom in me to worry. And because she is a preemie, she is scheduled to receive additional vaccines to protect her.

There are so many differences with a preemie. Some I don't know if they are "preemie" things or "individuality" things. Ava makes so many noises. She clears her throat for what seems like hours on end. She snores, LOUDLY. She grunts constantly. She whistles through her nose. She is most often having gas pains or reflux. While I have no doubt she's breathing when she's sleeping due to all the noise, it's hard to get any sleep when she is actually sleeping. I had a phone call from someone in a program that Ava will be in for preemies. The woman scheduled an appointment for Ava's due date, which is next week. During the conversation I mentioned some things Ava does and was reassured that it was all normal preemie behavior. I told her that the only time Ava seems to have a quiet sleep is when she's sleeping on me or Rick. At this she said that it was a dangerous thing for Ava because they don't want Ava to be in such a deep sleep. Another preemie thing. However, I was also told that preemies require a lot more holding and cuddling. Which she gets. As I type this, I am wearing her in my new favorite baby carrier.

In addition to her qualifying for the preemie program, she'll be evaluated at the hospital starting at 6 months adjusted age (she'll be 9 months at that time). They will follow her development until she's 3 years old. The theory is early intervention. It's really hard for me not to look for early signs myself. I just have to hope Ava will come out of this all just fine.

Next week is her eye exam. We went 2 weeks ago and her eyes are still on their way to be fully mature. I'm hoping this is the last visit and we can put that part behind us. It's difficult to get motivated and out the door for a 7:30 am appointment. It's even more difficult to watch her get her eyes dilated every 2 weeks, and then to be told they aren't quite there yet.

Another difficult thing for us has been nursing. I had high hopes that she would switch from the bottle to the breast, but who am I kidding? When we came home, we were sent with a 20 calorie formula to fortify the breast milk. This helps gain weight and adds some extra vitamins. I also supplement the breast milk with iron and a multi-vitamin. So really, nursing would have had to be a supplement. Well, besides the bottle being easier for her to take and less work, all the additives to the milk changes the flavor. Because she's not nursing, I'm exclusively pumping out the milk. My milk supply is showing the sings that my body isn't happy with this situation, so I've had to supplement my fresh milk with the frozen stockpile in order to keep up with Ava's demands. As much as it saddens me that she won't nurse, I'm not going to beat myself up about it or frustrate myself any more. It looks like sooner than later I'll be supplementing my milk with formula until I dry out completely. I do fear the wrath of the lactation consultant when she calls to check in on our progress, but so be it.

So that's the current happenings in Ava's world. If you've managed to stay awake through this update, kudos to you!

Cupcakes, anyone?

Happy New Year!

Wheww, 2010 is o.v.e.r. What a crazy year. Here's to 2011.