This one may be a keeper

Had my ultrasound today and got to see the heartbeat. The baby implanted in the right spot too, which is my uterus. Yay! Although there is still a long way to go, we are moving in the right direction. I am so relieved. And so tired.

If you want updates, no news is good news right now

Damn pregnancy symptoms that always haunt me so early on. I would like to be completely clueless about any signs my body gives me just once. I'm tired. No, I'm exhausted. That's supposed to be a good thing. I am hungry but can't find anything satisfying to eat. Another good thing. I feel my uterus stretching. Also a good thing. I could probably give lots of random unusual behavior I'm experiencing all pregnancy related, although it really doesn't matter because these signs happen no matter if it's a viable pregnancy or not for me. So there. I guess I'll just have to continue to wait it out until Thurs. to see what's behind door number 1.

Hurdle #1 cleared

Just got a call from the Dr. office and I'm pleased to report that the HCG level is 187, which is more than double and that's a good thing. Still not ready to do a happy dance, but for this point in time it's a good sign. I have an appointment for an ultrasound in 2 weeks to rule out an ectopic. Of course it's still very early on and anything can happen, but I'm a little more comfortable having these results.

Fuzzies

Thank you for your positive thoughts and your kind words to me. It feels like a cozy, fuzzy sweater wrapped around me.

Went to the lab for the second blood draw. I hope to hear back from the office tomorrow afternoon with the results.

And the score is...

HCG 50
Progesterone 24.4
All I know is that the progesterone looks good. I'm told by my expert panel that the HCG doesn't look as bad as I suspected. So Wed. I follow up with another HCG to see where the levels go, and go from there. I feel a glimmer of hope creep in. I'm trying to suppress it.

As usual, it's some shade of gray

I'm stuck in limbo land again. Actually, I'm getting pretty used to it. I took a pregnancy test on Saturday and it came back positive. The not-so-funny, but really kind of funny-in-a-sick-way part of it is, I told Rick and then we pretty much ignored the whole topic there on out. And then yesterday I started to spot a little. Today it's more pronounced spotting. In the 4 out of 5 bad pregnancy outcomes, I've had spotting involved. So the statistical average is not looking good for this one.
I called the Dr. office this morning and requested an HCG count. She threw in a progesterone count just for the fun of it. I should find out my results fairly soon, as it was a rushed order. I really wish it were all black or white here, but again I'm stuck on some shade of gray.

Diaper duty

It's never fun changing Sophia's diaper. She is not an agreeable child for this act, never was. Lately it's been more a battle of minds, since pinning her down has become a struggle that my back can't keep up with.

Me: "I'm going to change your diaper. Do you want to lay down or stand?"

Sophia: "No"

Me: "Do you want lay down?"

Sophia: "No"

Me: "Do you want to stand?"

Sophia: "No"

Me: "You have two choices, you can either stand or lay down. Which one is it going to be?"

Sophia: "SIT right here. I SIT RIGHT HERE."

Me: "Sitting is not one of your options. Do you want to lay down or stand?"

Sophia (looking at me like I just don't get it): "SIT right here" (using her pointer finger for extra drama).

As you might except, the episode ended badly. But she has a clean diaper and that kink in my back grows by the day.