Sophia says...

While driving Sophia to preschool the other morning, I was singing to a popular song on the radio. Sophia says, "Mommy? Maybe you should let the singer sing her own song. I think she likes it better that way."

Later in the day, I needed to return a pair of Sophia's shoes and attempt to purchase a bathing suit. We were walking past all the cute itsy bitsy suits, and maneuvered into the very back section, where the lighting is dimmed and the suits aren't so itsy bitsy. Sophia says, "Oh, we are in the mommy swimsuit area now." On a side note, I've purchased more items with the word "Miracle" on them than I'd care to admit lately. Swimsuit being one of them.

Teacher "Thank You" craft

Our first end of the school year experience, and I was feeling a little crafty. If you haven't found Pinterest, you don't know what you are missing. Or maybe stay away, because it's a vortex that will consume any free time you have. That is, if you have hobbies or interests, or are in need of hobbies or interests. So while looking at all these cool ideas on Pinterest for crafty teacher thank yous, I came across an idea and added my own flavor to it. I found all of the contents on sale or had it on hand, and I am really pleased with how it turned out. I used Photoshop to make the card with Sophia's picture of her first day of school and underneath it says "Teachers plant the seeds of knowledge that will grow forever." Hence the garden theme. On the back of the card I wrote one specific thing Sophia liked about the teacher, and had Sophia sign her name. This is the first time I used the chalkboard spray paint, and I have the urge to make everything into a chalkboard right now, but I am resisting. Oh, and I had these cute little owl stickers that fit perfectly over the price tag of the Dahlia bulbs. So if you are looking for an end of year project for your kiddo, I highly recommend taking advantage of those spring/summer garden sales at Home Depot and Big Lots.

Run for the hills!

I had a not so proud parenting moment the other day. (Please excuse the following corny analogy, I can't help myself.) The dam broke, and I quite literally ran for the hills. In other words, I lost my shit. Big time. Oh it's not what you think. I didn't hit anybody, didn't leave any emotional scars that I may have to look back on and pinpoint the exact moment of parental failure. I simply could no longer share the same space of one endlessly screaming banshee--that would be Ava--and one endlessly whining shrilly voice--that would be Sophia. It was dinner time, I had enough of the day's events that kept piling on into a heart pounding GET ME OUT OF HERE moment where I could either scream and wig everyone out, or make a run for it. And run I did. My mind must have been going to this place in time where I would need those running shoes on when I got dressed for the day. Already equipped for the short marathon I was about to embark on (mental note: next time I "prepare" for a little breakdown, I might want to wear a sports bra), I yelled to Rick "feed Ava!" and ran out the front door. Problem is, I am not a runner. So my very dramatic exit quickly led to gasps of air and side pains about 2 blocks down the street. But I wasn't about to turn around and head back home, so I walked really quickly up the big hill next to our house and released that pent up steam. And it felt good. And then I felt a little silly about the whole dramatic running out of the house bit I just pulled.
On the walk down the hill, I tried to come up with a teachable moment, because I knew Sophia would not just ignore this charade and finish dinner like nothing happened. But honestly, I couldn't find one. "Mommy just lost it, honey" didn't sound right because I must tell Sophia at least five times a day that she needs to learn how to control her emotions better. And I can't really condone the behavior of running out the front door without telling anyone where I was going. So I just decided to announce to the quiet (like, you could hear chewing from the front entrance it was so quiet) family members eating ever so mannerly at the dinner table that mommy just needed some fresh air. "But why did you leave?" Sophia asked in a concerned voice. "Oh I was just hot and I didn't feel like sitting down to eat so I just ran around the block sweetie." As if a half-assed excuse would sound better presented with a sing-songy voice and plastered smile. I wasn't about to actually look at Rick, but my peripheral vision took in his raised eyebrows. So who's teachable moment did this really turn out to be afterall? Mine. It really doesn't matter what happened during the day to set me into that downward spiral. What does matter is that I need to get better at knowing when things become a little too much and adjust to that before I get to the point of boiling over. That I cant just do it all like I really just want to do. Being perfect isn't an obtainable goal. There will always be a floor to vacuum, laundry to fold, or pending responsibilities. I can always do better, but some days maybe just doing what I can is good enough too.

April: Things I want to remember

April is a crazy packed month for us in general. It was taken up a few notches with Easter coming so soon in the month and then with Rick's dad going into the hospital, followed by the funeral. But April wasn't all sad. It was a roller coaster of highs and lows, with many things I do not want to forget. Such as:

Having fun with Sophia on April Fools Day. It landed on a Sunday this year, which is usually the day I get to linger in bed while Sophia and Rick pal around in the early morning. I ran out with Sophia's clothes and told her to hurry up, she'll be late for school. They both looked at me like I was crazy. Then for breakfast I made her pancakes with a little surprise dirt and worms coming out of it (chocolate graham cracker and marshmallow). She loved that.

The Easter egg hunt, with Ava actually being able to participate in this year. Aunt Dione made special plastic eggs just for her, and she must have eaten 2 packages full of yogurt melts. She was a pro at opening the eggs up to get what was inside.

That you are never too old to feel like a kid. Rick put this really cool tree swing up for the kids, but all the other big kids took turns as well.

Sophia pointing out that her Candy Land birthday cake was missing the colored marshmallow edging. The ONLY candy out of the ton of candy that I forgot to put on the cake, and she would not let up on me about those marshmallows for weeks after.

Vegas. The whole trip was awesome. One particular event wasn't so awesome, but laughable. We arrived at the airport with much time to wait for our flight home, because the hotel internet services and kiosk wasn't letting me confirm our flight check-in. We go through the screening process, and the security wants to hand search our one carry-on bag. I joked that we had so much time to kill, no problem! Well after a good minute, it appeared that the guy was actually looking for something specific. When he found it, he said to Rick, "Sir, did you know you had a knife in your bag?" And this wasn't just any knife. It was a hunting knife for skinning deer. Pretty intimidating. How it got through the security checkpoint coming to Vegas is frightening in itself. The security guy was very cool about the whole thing. We checked our carry-on and that was that.

My Mom's birthday celebration was put on hold due to the timing of the funeral, so not only did we skip her birthday altogether, she came down to help with Ava, who was being a very testy little girl the entire service. That's what moms are for!

I was so proud of Rick, who is not a public speaker, to get up and say such a heartfelt and eloquent tribute to his Dad. Speaking of pride, our nephew Chris composed music for and wrote the lyrics to a song that he performed at the funeral service. There was not a dry eye in the place. And he nailed it.

That sometimes the best moments are spontaneous. Our wedding anniversary celebration was so last minute, and we had a really nice date night.

Maypole

I've been anticipating the day when Sophia was old enough to create a maypole for May Day. While some people were out rioting or protesting or picketing yesterday, we were celebrating May 1st the old fashioned way. My mom told me when she was a little girl they would fill baskets with flowers and leave it on friend's doorsteps. I think we'll add this tradition next year.

The 7 year itch

Seven years ago yesterday, Rick and I were married on the beach at sunset in a very small coastal town in Northern Italy. Each year, days before our anniversary, we receive a card from our friend Jennifer. Quite honestly, had it not been for this yearly reminder, we may have forgotten to celebrate (I never thank you for your thoughtfulness, Jennifer!). We aren't very good with exact dates, Rick and I. We know time frames, but specific dates of things need to be written down, and even then are forgotten. I'll get a sixth sense and have to go to the calendar or my blog when I feel like there is something nagging at me. And when life gets in the way, we tend to set aside those we love the most because we know they will forgive us. But strangely enough, this year everything fell into place with little effort. We were hanging out in the backyard with the girls on Sunday, watching Sophia run through the sprinklers and Ava playing in the water table. I asked Rick what we should do this year and he suggested maybe go away for an overnight trip somewhere next week. "Next week? You know our anniversary is tomorrow right?"
"Oh, is it tomorrow? I thought there was another week in there. Well, let's go to dinner tomorrow."
"Lots of restaurants are closed on Mondays," I remarked. "And if you want me to wear that dress I promised, it's going to have to be a warm night." So we agreed to see if we could have Noni watch the girls and go to dinner that very night. He called a place nearby, which is on the water, and they had a table available right at sunset. It was meant to be. When Rick was making the reservation, they asked if it was a special occasion and he said it was our anniversary. "What's your secret?" the guy on the other end of the phone asked. Has it gotten so bad that 7 years is considered a great accomplishment in our society? I feel like we are finally getting into our groove. Has it already been 7 years? But just in case I'm in oblivious naive mode, I decided to remind Rick that there are remedies for the 7 year itch. Because I am not at all romantic, I went the humor route. In case he starts to get itchy, the medicine cabinet is stocked full of Benedryl, Calamine lotion, Tinactine, and Gold Bond.