Sophia's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

(the above picture was actually taken on another terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day)

If this sounds familiar, I've adapted my story from one of my favorite childhood books.

It was an unusually chilly morning, so the heater came on very early. Sophia is a very light sleeper, and it only takes the heater going on a few times for her to wake up. So at 5:00 am, it begins. Sophia wanted to cuddle, no--she wanted down, no--she wanted milk, no--she wanted mommy to get down and get her milk, no--she didn't want milk, no--she wanted milk, but she wanted mommy and daddy to get out of bed and get her milk. I just knew it was the start to a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
Sophia didn't really want her milk when she got it. She wanted daddy to hold her. She wanted Elmo on TV. She wanted to play while Elmo was on TV and not really watch TV. NO, she did not want her daddy to watch Fox News on TV. No, she really didn't want Elmo back on TV. She wanted Calliou. She wanted mommy to hold her while she watched Calliou. No, she didn't want mommy to lean back on the couch, she wanted mommy in an upright position. Oh, and Sophia now wanted her milk. And mommy desperately needed her coffee. But Sophia wanted her milk to magically appear, because she didn't want mommy to get up to get her milk. It was becoming a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
Sophia wanted breakfast because daddy was eating his breakfast. But Sophia didn't want to get in her highchair. Sophia didn't want her dog near her highchair. Sophia wanted blueberries, but she didn't want the blueberries in a pile. She wanted to throw the dog a blueberry, but she didn't want the dog to actually eat the blueberry. Sophia wanted to watch TV while eating her breakfast. Sophia now wanted to watch Elmo, and she wanted only Elmo. Mommy needed another cup of coffee. Sophia needed a nap. Mommy hoped the nap would cure the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
Fred had spent the night because he had knee surgery the following day and couldn't drive. The spare bathroom is next to Sophia's room. As mentioned, Sophia is a light sleeper. Fred decided it was time to get up and go to the bathroom, 10 minutes after Sophia went down for her nap. The heater came on. Sophia woke up. Sophia wanted her blanket when she woke up from her painfully short nap. No--not just her favorite bear blanket, no--her other new favorite bear blanket, and her green silky blanket, and her pink fuzzy blanket, and her quilt, and her pillow. Sophia wanted to cuddle on the couch, but she wanted to cuddle with all blankets and pillow on top of mommy. It continued to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
Sophia wanted to go outside. Sophia didn't want to get dressed. Sophia didn't want to change her diaper. Sophia didn't want to put on her coat. Sophia wanted to throw ice at her dog. Sophia didn't want her dog to actually eat the ice. Sophia wanted her dog to take the other end of the torn out mint strand. Sophia didn't want her dog to actually pull the strand out of her hand. Sophia wanted to play in the water, but she didn't want to get wet. Sophia didn't want to be in her wet clothes. Sophia didn't want to take her wet clothes off. It was a terrible, horrible no good, very bad day. And it was only 12 noon.