My supporting cast and crew

I very rarely discuss my online support group. I've been blessed and honored to be a part of a special group of women that met online during one of the toughest moments of our lives. Back in 2006 when I had my first miscarriage, I was looking to make sense of it all and to find some kindred spirits in the journey of getting back to trying for another baby. I think I cyber stalked them for a few months, cautious of getting involved. I'm not the type to join anything, so this was something I felt was a big step emotionally. And then I thought, "what the heck do I have to lose, I don't know these women." Months went by and slowly women started getting pregnant with their rainbow babies (pregnancy after a loss). Some women went on to have another painful loss, some had babies within the year. Others, like me, took a lot longer to get pregnant. What we had was the strength and support of all the members who "got it." Miscarriage is not something usually discussed with family and friends. No one in my family or any friends had experienced this and although they were there for me and felt my pain, they didn't "get it" like these women who had been through it. And how could I expect them to?

Over the years, some of us have met up in person. We had a reunion in Texas where a group of us were able to meet and hang out for a few days with our babies. It's interesting how after a few years of chatting online, you really do know a person. That face to face interaction may not be there, but the soul transfers through the words. It's hard to understand and Rick surely didn't get why I'd spend an hour or so a day corresponding with women "I didn't know", but after hearing about their lives and meeting some of them himself, he agrees what a great group of women I lucked out finding.

When we were in Cincinnati, we met up with two of the women and their husbands for dinner. It wasn't awkward, there were no nervous gaps in conversation. It was a fun dinner with friends and random talk just like any other dinner would be. It was also a much needed break from the stress and emotion of the long appointments. We had "family" in a place we had never been, during a time that I'd never want to relive. But we had one night that seemed normal and took us away from why we were there in the first place.

One woman lives fairly close by so we get together periodically for play dates. We were invited to her son's birthday party last week. As we were leaving, she told me all our "Lil PALS" got together and wanted to do something for me during this time. She presented me with a styrofoam cooler, packed with a weeks worth of frozen prepared dinners from a gourmet service. With that were gift certificates for take out and grocery, a DVD and coloring book for Sophia, and a delicately made scrapbook of all the Lil PALS kids and a note to me. I was so deeply moved by their generosity and love to do this for me. For my family.

I just want to give a big shout out to my supporting cast and crew that is seemingly behind the scenes, but such a very large part of my everyday life. Without you, I really don't know how I would have ever survived what is typically a very lonely struggle through infertility, miscarriages, and pregnancy complications. Thank you.